Added: Zacarias Malpass - Date: 26.02.2022 08:11 - Views: 33147 - Clicks: 5142
It was my 33rd birthday. When you factor in the rule that we cannot date or marry outside our faith, it gets even tougher. So this was weighing on me as I was sitting with my gorgeous, funny, smart, single girlfriends. I had dreams. I had things I wanted to do. I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to put myself out there. I wanted to find love. But the idea of finding a mate had become such an unattainable goal, such a pipe dream, that by extension all my dreams seemed unattainable. I talked to the brothers in my congregation about it.
They told me to read the Scriptures, to meditate on them, and I did. I prayed. I read the Bible. And I did. But I thought about other things, too. Like what it would feel like to have a life partner and what it would feel like to wake up in the arms of a man who loved me. So on my 33rd birthday, surrounded by all my gorgeous, funny, smart, sexy, single girlfriends, I made a decision. Tinder, for the uninitiated, is neither chaste nor lovable nor pure. And if you break that rule, there are consequences. I launched a plan.
I put on my best wrap dress, I took a really flattering picture, and then I cropped my head out and prayed for the best. There were some creepy responses to a headless torso on Tinder Dating a jehovah witness man there were. But there were some, the gentlemen of Tinder, who were nice, and one of these nice gentlemen was a guy named Josh.
Josh and I hit it off immediately. He had great taste in music, he was funny, he was smart, he was witty, he was not a creep. Best of all he was a grad student — he was doing his capstone — so he was perpetually busy and four hours away. That was perfect for me, because we became texting buddies. Most guys on Tinder, they want to text one day, maybe two, before you meet and get the show on the road.
Josh was always busy and far away, so we texted, and the texting was delicious. All that flirting. I was sizzling, I was vivacious. Here was a man who saw me as a woman, not as a spiritual sister. It was awesome. I had a pep in my step, and it spilled into the other parts of my life.
People noticed, but I kept the reason to myself. I happened to be home by myself that day, and I had this rush of boldness. This is the start of every Lifetime movie ever made. I let him in, we sit down on the couch, I set my timer. And then he leans in for the kiss. That kiss was magic, it was electric. I felt it in my toes. My whole body was buzzing. And then the timer was buzzing, our time was up. I knew where this could go, and I knew what the consequences could be. But I also knew I wanted more.
It felt good. So I started carving out time to be with Josh. If you miss your meetings, people will text you or call you and ask where you were. So I had to start lying. I remember one time we ordered takeout and watched Sherlock at his apartment, and I was so deliriously happy. I wanted to call my parents and my friends and tell them how happy I was.
And if you googled Josh like I didthe first thing you would see is an article he wrote while he was attending MIT about leaving religion behind altogether. He keeps asking me out. Phase two, and this one was tricky: convince my family to convince me to take Josh to the wedding as my date. And I did it. Phase three was simple: take Josh to the wedding, keep it platonic, have him charm the pants off everybody. My grandmother fell in Dating a jehovah witness man with Josh.
Super important. You know what they say about best-laid plans. By week one of phase four, a Witness friend had put two and two together. I was exposed. The lying, the dating, the intimacy, all of it. I knew what the next steps were. So I called the elders in my congregation, and I told them everything.
The decision was made to disfellowship me. What it means in practical terms is your family can no longer talk to you, your friends can no longer talk to you. So now, for the first time, everything is on the table. In the absence of that culture of ability, where no one is checking on me and no one is calling to see where I am, I surprisingly find myself still going to my meetings. And, to my shock, I want to be a part of this organization.
I want to find my way back. There is a path back. I went to my meetings, and I marched all the way up to the very front row, and I sat there. I made sure everyone could see me. But I missed Josh. How do you feel? I had to believe that the God who loves me wants me to have love, too. Josh and I got engaged in June. So I have to have faith that, if this man can make room in his life for my faith, with time my community will make room for him in my life. So Saturday, two days from now, Josh and I are getting married. You can buy the book here. To from the series, visit our dedicated.
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Inside The World Of Dating As A Jehovah’s Witness