Added: Jamal Kirkwood - Date: 13.10.2021 00:18 - Views: 25972 - Clicks: 7241
My boyfriend of the last four months has just dumped me out of the blue by phone. I asked him why and he said that he wanted to meet 'different people' and that he liked the way his life was, he liked his sports, hobbies, seeing his two children, and enjoyed being single. He said, 'If its any consolation that I was not the first girlfriend he'd been like this with since he split with his wife four years ago, he's 40and that I wouldn't be the last. He said he goes out with women for a while and usually ends up feeling this way.
He said one day he hoped he'd meet someone he 'really liked' and that it would all fall into place, but that he would probably end up a 'sad and lonely old man'! He said he'd 'mulled it over' for some time whether to finish with me but had been undecided.
I feel really upset, a because I really liked him, b because he sounded so cold and matter of fact on the phone, he didn't even say sorry or try and sound compassionate, and c I'd been patient with him with all his pre-organised commitments. He told me that when he'd had his week's holiday at the end of November he would have a lot more time to see me. When I met him he'd had several weekends away planned with his sports club, and said he had planned his life without a girlfriend for the rest of the year but had liked me and wanted to see me.
He said to bear with him which I did without putting any pressure on him at all. I don't see that I've done anything wrong. It doesn't make sense to me. He phoned me twice from his holiday, said he missed me and wanted to see me the day he got back which was only two weeks ago. I saw him the night he got back and over the weekend, and then the following Saturday I went to a Christmas do with him that he'd invited me to.
I got on well with his friends but they did keep saying that I was a nice girl, how long had we known each He dumped me out of the blue, and that he should bring me to more social events. Whether that gave him cold feet, I don't know, because the next day when he left me, he made no plans to meet up and said that he'd 'be in touch and sort something out'. I felt like I'd been slapped in the face as he sounded so impersonal and cold. He then didn't phone in the week as he usually does.
I phoned him and he came over on Thursday, but didn't seem his usual self. The sex was very good between us, but he doesn't even want to continue seeing me for that reason. My self-esteem is now zero. I can't get his words out of my head. I've never been rejected in such a way before, and have lost my confidence totally. Well, you say that 'it doesn't make sense' to you.
Sadly, I have to tell you that, to a lot of men, it would all make perfect sense. You see, many guys do lead exactly the kind of life that you describe — having quite intense relationships but then moving on when they feel it's time to get out. Very frequently, this comes as a stunning shock to the woman — as it has to you. I offer you all my sympathy, but I assure you that we often see this sort of situation.
I am really sorry about your heartbreak. But I would say that this kind of thing happens to about 50 per cent of women at some time in their life. The truth is that this guy is not ready for a long-term relationship He's been married once - and is definitely not ready for any more commitment at present. I'm sorry. But, this is nothing to do with you. You have not failed in any way and you definitely have not 'done anything wrong'. In other words, this is all to do with where his head is at the moment and not really to do with you or the kind of person you are. You've just had a relationship with a guy which has been rotten timing — for you.
I do understand that you feel very knocked by it, but please try to re-build your self-esteem and get out there and have a good time. Basically, this is not a relationship that has foundered because of any flaws in you — honestly. It's just one of those things. In time I'm sure you'll come to regard it as a good dress rehearsal for something that turns out to be very much better. By all means, read a few books on self-esteem or try the self-esteem test and follow the advice it gives. Let people care and pamper you, and as you begin to feel better, get out with girlfriends and gradually get yourself back out into the dating arena and go looking for a man who is ready for a serious relationship.
The world is full of great guys eager to be with a loving, caring partner. So write this man off to experience and start enjoying life again. Can you offer any advice for a broken heart? Dumped after three years. Getting over a break up. How do I deal with a break-up? I can't get over He dumped me out of the blue and get on with my life. I was dumped. My boyfriend has walked out on me for the second time.
We've split up and I can't get by without her. Why am I so depressed about being dumped? Will her wound heal? Last updated Parenting Mental health Healthy eating Conditions Follow. Type keyword s to search. Question My boyfriend of the last four months has just dumped me out of the blue by phone. All the s were there, and then he called me on Saturday to finish it. He did seem to like me, how can he change his mind in two weeks? Answer David writes: Well, you say that 'it doesn't make sense' to you.
Over to Christine Christine adds: I am really sorry about your heartbreak. By all means, read a few books on self-esteem or try the self-esteem test and follow the advice it gives Meanwhile, lean on your friends and family. Good luck! Dumped after three years Getting over a break up How do I deal with a break-up?
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My boyfriend wants to break it off.He dumped me out of the blue
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