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Photo by Clarisse Meyer on Unsplash. Here are a few vital biblical principles to help you to think carefully about romantic relationships, regardless of whether you think dating or courting best facilitates the implementation of these principles. The idea that God has deed and called men to bear a unique responsibility to lead in their relationships to women has been challenged ever since the fall Gen.
In our contemporary context, however, there seems to be a particularly acute and nuanced resistance to this notion, and areas of male leadership that were once assumed are now questioned as outmoded at best, and patriarchal and misogynistic at worst. Adding further difficulty to an already difficult situation is the reality that men, also since the fall, have an inward propensity toward passivity: that a man should initiate a romantic relationship and continue to initiate that relationship is a principle that often either sits uneasily upon the conscience or is simply disregarded as unimportant.
But the relational structures that God has put in place will inevitably rise to the surface of our experience, and men and women will often find they are most satisfied when the man takes the helm of leadership in the area of romance. This is not to suggest that it is wrong, in every circumstance, for a woman to take the first step; what matters is not so much who takes the first step, but whether or not the man initiates the relationship from that point going forward. What does it mean to initiate a romantic relationship?
It means, practically, to find ways to talk to the woman in whom you are interested. And trust me: the temptation to yield to passivity in this area is a tendency you will have to fight in marriage as well. But intentionality must characterize our conduct during the entire relationship, not just the beginning. This means that you continue to plan time together, guide the conversation to edifying topics, and regularly communicate your intentions. Yet, merely continuing a romantic relationship is not necessarily a to your girlfriend that marriage is really on the horizon.
Men, when you indulge in this passive approach to dating, you will soon be guilty of defrauding your girlfriend. That is, by continuing to enjoy the benefits of the relationship—companionship, emotional intimacy, the delicate joys of romance—without clear intentions and solid plans to bring that relationship to a fitting consummation marriageyou have become a deceiver. How can I use such strong language? Because by your reluctance to express and act on your intentions, you are giving the impression that this relationship is moving directly toward marriage, How to be a man of god in relationships you are actually just driving in circles.
Men, to lead in a romantic relationship means, at the most basic level, that you are dating with the express intention of determining whether or not you and your girlfriend should get married. So guys, ask yourself: Am I in a position to be married within the next year to eighteen months? Here are a few factors to consider:. Are you assured of your salvation? Are you sure you are a regenerate Christian?
If not, then you are not ready to enter into a romantic relationship. Because the most important aspect of your life is presently in question. You must settle this issue before you enter into a romantic relationship, because you will not be fit to lead your girlfriend and future wife while you are on such shaky spiritual ground. Can you provide for a wife? Are you able to provide for a wife or be in a position to provide for a wife within the next year to eighteen months?
If not, you are not really ready to be dating. College freshmen who believe they met their future wives at orientation may balk at this statement. Are you walking in sexual purity? The primary question here is whether you are presently caught in the habit of viewing pornography. Are you ensnared in the daily, weekly, or monthly habit of viewing pornography for the sake of sexual stimulation and satisfaction?
If so, then you How to be a man of god in relationships not yet ready to be in a romantic relationship. Are you firmly established in and able to the local church? Are you well rooted into your local church, under the spiritual care of your pastors and elders, and able to a group of believers within that congregation?
I place this question on the list of considerations because God has deed the local church to be the place where our faith is grown, sustained, protected, and preserved Heb. If you are detached from the local church, you will soon be spiritually adrift and taking your girlfriend with you. The answer is nothing. God has given you every resource you need to have the assurance of your salvation, to provide for yourself and for a family, to put sexual sin to death, and to develop gospel relationships in your local church.
Instead of focusing on unproductive self-loathing, let these questions spur you on to greater diligence in these areas. Can I Date an Unbeliever? The Importance of Compatibility in Romantic Relationships. Derek J. Derek blogs at fromthestudy. This article was originally published under the title "Christian Dating and Courtship, Part 1: Leadership" at fromthestudy. Editor's note: The text of the original article was amended based on some helpful feedback from BCL readers and has been updated since its original publishing date of September 12, Cart 0.
Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning Beautiful Christian Life LLC may get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through its links, at no cost to you. Men: Initiate the relationship and keep on initiating. Be careful of defrauding your girlfriend. Are you ready to be married in a year and a half? Here are a few factors to consider: 1. Erica Chase. Christina Fox. Love Derek J. Facebook 0 Twitter Pinterest 0 0 Likes.How to be a man of god in relationships
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