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By: D. Sinclair Terrasidius. Started a relationshiponly to discover you are dating someone with Aspergers? Lead writer Andrea Blundell explores how to cope when your partner is on the autism spectrum. Nobody is their diagnosis. They are first and foremost an individual who happens to be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Mental health diagnoses are simply terms created by mental health professionals to describe groups of people with the similar symptoms. They know best, after all — they are living through the experience. You are pretty much now an expert.
Or are you? Nobody is an expert on another person except that person. Ask your partner. What are their reasons for their actions? By: Francesco. Communication is important in all relationships. But if one partner has Aspergers even more so, especially as they might struggle to understand anything but direct communication.
All your non verbal cues like body language and tone of voice might not be landing at all. So you need to find what type of communication does work. It could be something outside the box, such as writing each other letters. And do communicate as calmly as possible. If you are not feeling calm, step back and find tools to process your emotions, like journaling. Your partner might like certain ways of being and living. And if your partner is seeing a therapist, there might be things he or she prefers to work on privately with their therapist.
You are not their teacher or therapist, you are their partner, and it might be better for them and you to have good boundaries here. Both of you matter. And there will need to be compromise on both sides. But you can work on other things that are. Decide what is most important to you, communicate about it, and find ways for you both to stay yourselves and grow together.
By: James. Look for support groups and forums as well as Facebook groups where you can connect with others who have Aspie partners. Not everything that goes wrong in your relationship is going to be because your partner has Aspergers, however convenient it might be to make it seem that way.
Again, remember each person is an individual. And there can be other things that not only work but are a positive. Or very loyal. They might totally adore you as you are one of their strong interests. And you might have a great sex life. Your attempts to get your partner to lighten up, enjoy handholding, or to be less obsessed with a certain hobby? Maybe not. Then again, most relationships fail short after the initial buzz and then involve compromise.
By: KOMUnews. Dating someone with Aspergers can be a gift. It makes any relating issues you already had even more loud and clear then before, and forces you to deal with them. Consider seeking support. A therapist can help you identify and move through any issue, and support you in learning new ways of relating. Many partners have had long happy marriages and children.
Not everyone is meant to be together. This just leaves your partner suffering under the burden of your resentment and disappointment. A final note. Note you might be jumping to conclusions. They might just be different to you, or it could be something like alexithymia. Only a professional can diagnose autism spectrum disorder. Not everyone does, and many people need time and space to consider it. Need support to navigate your relationship? We connect you with top talk therapists in Central London.
Or use our booking site to find a UK-wide registered therapistor an online therapist if you live outside the UK. Still have a question about dating someone with Aspergers, or want to share your experience and tips with other readers?
Use the comment box below. Andrea Blundell is the editor and lead writer of this blog. She dated someone with Aspergers long ago, before she studied counselling and coaching, and wished she had read this sort of information then. If you are a journalist writing about this subject, do get in touch - we may be able to comment or provide a How to know if youre dating someone with aspergers quote from a professional therapist. Hello I have a partner with aspergers hes a smashing man and I feel so much for him.
I would like to know can they can fall in love. Hi Janet, that is wonderful to hear that you have met a great man and also that you are doing your best to educate yourself and understand. He has obviously also met a great woman! The best thing here would be to ask him directly what helps him feel good, comfortable and happy in a relationship. Best, HT.
Hi There Janet, we posted a response when you last commented, if you scroll through you should see it. Book Therapy Here. s of Aspergers in Adults — Sound Familiar? Feeling Suicidal or Like Self-Harming? Techniques to Stop Distress. Are You Overreacting? How to Tell. Harley Therapy.How to know if youre dating someone with aspergers
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