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Even if you and your partner have come to an agreement, the arguing can really put a damper on things. It might take some time to restore the romance and affection. When the dust has settled after a fight, your emotions might still be running high. You may be tempted to throw in some last minute passive-aggressive jabs—maybe you want to make your point, or maybe you just want to get back at the other person.
Either way, these jabs, as small as they may be, only prolong the nastiness. Humor can only help you overcome relationship problems when both partners are in on the joke. Give your partner space, but also take some space yourself. After things get ugly, you might need some time alone to reflect, recover, or heal. Here are some things to keep in mind:. Space can give you the necessary time to cool down:. Shorey says. I was a jerk. Of course, if you need space, at least reassure your partner that you love them and things will be okay. A little emotional support can go a long way, even if you need to go cool off.
It can be hard to communicate honestly and calmly after a fight, but eHow puts it this way :. Go out of your way to be open with him, no matter how hard it may seem as first. Accept responsibility for how you made your partner feel, Dr. For the well-being of the relationship, give up the need to drive home your point. This goes hand-in-hand with the above. If your behavior made your partner feel a certain way, give up your need to defend yourself.
This could keep the argument going. Accept their feelings and consider the big picture. If you really feel you need to clarify why you behaved a certain way, you can always How to start an argument with your boyfriend this later, when the fight is truly over and things have calmed down. Shorey offers another great tip: accept that the relationship might take some time to fully heal, but schedule some time to check back in about where you stand after some time has passed.
This could be especially useful for more intense fights. It may also be helpful to come to an agreement and set boundaries and rules for the future. In reflecting on the fight, consider what you could do differently next time. They offer more guidelines in the full post. Overall, you want to make sure your post-argument communication is productive. It might be necessary to establish some rules as a couple or even individually to keep from dragging out the fight. Show a little love and caring by sharing sweet words and actions.
Relationships often experience hostility and resentment when one or both parties feel unappreciated or unloved A little kindness could serve as a reminder that you care about each other, and you care about the relationship. In this case, it might be best to talk to a professional. A counselor or therapist can help you understand your feelings and work through them in one way or another. Also, check out our posts on how to pick a couples therapist and what to expect when you start seeing one. Recovering from a fight can take time. Communication, understanding, and respect will do well to get your relationship back on track.
This story was originally published in and was updated on December 1, to meet Lifehacker style guidelines. I can't seem to do this. I hold such resentment and bitterness towards my partner after he hurts me that it's always in the back of my mind somewhere. We're trying to rebuild trust right now after he lied to me over and over and it's been very difficult.
Everything he's doing now seems to be on the up and up but I can't help thinking he's just hiding it better now. I've seen his phone several times and I don't SEE anything he's doing wrong but I still feel like he is just due to our past.
How can I overcome this? The A. Social GPS. By Kristin Wong. Photo: Rawpixel. Health Social GPS.How to start an argument with your boyfriend
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An Everything-Guide to Winning Every Fight With Your S.O. (You're Welcome)