How to stop relying on others for happiness

Added: Joseantonio Vogelsang - Date: 26.07.2021 19:42 - Views: 24572 - Clicks: 4928

Not in a crazy, desperate way, but in the way that many of us are. I wanted someone else to make me happy, blamed others for my unhappiness, sought to fulfill my emotional needs through others. What could I do if they hurt me instead? Only in the last few years have I been becoming more emotionally self-reliant. No one likes to look bad, or to think of themselves as bad. They can transform your relationships and happiness. Usually this way of thinking starts in childhood. We rely on our parents for our emotional needs — love, comfort, support, validation, etc.

And then we become adults, without having learned emotional self-reliance. And so we look for someone else to fill our emotional needs. We look for happiness from others, but this is an unreliable source of happiness. They are struggling trying to meet their own needs. Create your own source of built-in happiness. Walk around as a whole, happy person, needing nothing. Then come from this place of wholeness, of self-reliance and independence, and love others.

Not because you want them to love you back, not because you want to be needed, but because loving them is an amazing thing to do. Next post: Simplifying Is Painful. Test Yourself Are you emotionally dependent? Ask yourself these questions: Are you looking for a romantic partner to make you happy? If you have a partner, do you look to this person for love, for sex, for support, for reassurance, for validation? Do you complain a lot about other people? Get mad because of things they do?

Is your relationship the center of your universe? What about your relationship with friends or your kids? Do you get jealous? However, there is a solution. We have to learn this: Happiness is not outside ourselves. Becoming Emotionally Self-Reliant We look for happiness from others, but this is an unreliable source of How to stop relying on others for happiness. How can we find this happiness? It takes some inner searching, but consider these suggestions: Sit by yourself, without a device or distraction, for a few minutes. Look inside. Notice your thoughts as they come up. Get to know your mind.

See how fascinating it is. This in itself is an endless source of entertainment and learning. One of my sources of happiness is creating, coming up with ideas, producing something. I also love learning. It gives me happiness, helps me grow. Curiosity is a boundless source of happiness for me. Learn to fix your own problems. If you are bored, fix it. If you are lonely or hurt, comfort yourself. Take responsibility. If you find yourself blaming others, tell yourself that the other person is never the problem. Of course, you can believe the other person is the problem, but then you are reliant on them for the solution.

If you find yourself complaining, instead find a way to be grateful. If you find yourself being needy, instead find a way to give. If you find yourself wanting someone to help you, help yourself.

How to stop relying on others for happiness

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