Involved in an affair

Added: Tramaine Oliverio - Date: 24.12.2021 17:40 - Views: 43594 - Clicks: 7471

We believe a romantic partner is there to provide us with love, comfort and security. So people are quick to make judgements and lay blame on perpetrators of what they see as a ificant violation of relationship norms and betrayal of trust. Infidelity highlights the potential fragility of our closest and most important of relationships. : We all want the same things in a partner, but why? But despite the blunt belief infidelity is the result of immoral and over-sexed individuals wanting their cake and eating it too, the reality is far more nuanced.

For instance, infidelity is rarely just about sex. However, this rate increases to around a third of couples when you include emotional infidelity. Without the necessary skills to heal the issues, a partner may engage in an affair as an ill-equipped way of attempting to have their needs fulfilled — whether these be for intimacy, to feel valued, to experience more sex, and so on.

So, the straying partner views an alternative relationship as a better way to meet these needs than their existing relationship. Studies into why people cheat are many and varied. Some find people who lack traits such as agreeableness and conscientiousness are more likely to be sexually promiscuous, as are those higher in neurotic and narcissistic traits.

Those low on these measures appear more likely to have an affair. Recent work suggests one of the biggest predictors of having an affair is having strayed Involved in an affair. : Why you might want to rethink monogamy. People need to invest time and energy into their relationships. While some couples report additional reasons, which can include a greater desire for sex, the majority speak to issues that reside either within the couple or outside the relationship. But the secret only perpetuates the betrayal. If one is serious about mending their existing relationship, then disclosure is necessary, along with seeking professional guidance to support the couple through the turbulent period towards recovery.

: What the evolution of jealousy tells us about online infidelity. Most relationship therapists suggest issues around infidelity can be improved through therapy. But they also report infidelity as one of the most difficult issues to work with when it comes to rebuilding a relationship. There are various evidence-based approaches to dealing with infidelity, but most acknowledge the act can be experienced as a form of trauma by the betrayed Involved in an affair, who has had their fundamental assumptions about their partner violated.

These include trust and the belief that the partner is there to provide love and security rather than inflict hurt. Research has found that, when the affair is revealed, both partners can experience mental health issues including anxiety, depression and thoughts of suicide. There can also be an increase in emotional and physical violence within the couple. So a couple should seek professional help to deal with the aftermaths of an affair, not only to possibly heal their relationship but also for their own psychological well-being.

One of the most well researched methods of helping a couple mend these issues involves addressing the initial impact of the affair, developing a shared understanding of the context of the affair, forgiveness, and moving on. Overall, therapy seems to work for about two-thirds of couples who have experienced infidelity. If a couple decides to stay together, they must identify areas of improvement and commit to working on them. The therapist can help the couple acknowledge the areas of the relationship in which trust has already been rebuilt.

Then the betrayed partner can be progressively exposed to situations that provide further reassurance they can trust their partner without having to constantly check on them. But if therapy works for two thirds of couples, it leaves another one third who experience no improvement. What then? If the relationship is characterised by many unresolved conflicts, hostility, and a lack of concern for one another, it may be best to end it.

Ultimately, relationships serve the function of meeting our attachment needs of love, comfort and security. But ending a relationship is never easy due to the attachment we develop with our romantic partner. Not only do we grieve the loss of the relationship no matter how good or badbut we grieve over whether we will find another who will fulfil our needs. The period of separation distress varies from person to person.

If the couple decides to end the relationship and are still in therapy, the therapist can help them work through their decision in a way that minimises feelings of hurt. The problem is that some people choose to seek their relationship needs in the arms of another rather than working on their existing relationship.

Plymouth Contemporary — Plymouth, Devon. Edition: Available editions United Kingdom. There are many reasons people have affairs. Gery KarantzasDeakin University.

Involved in an affair

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