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Elizabeth Sloan had one wish as she contemplated the future while in her mids: an emotionally and financially stable partner who shared her commitment to Conservative Judaism. Sloan, a marriage therapist from Glendale, Md. She ed dating sites and also considered a matchmaker, but was reluctant to shell out the several thousand dollars most charge. Then, in JulyMatch. Stein and his late wife, also named Elizabeth, had been married for nearly 30 years and had three kids together. Her death left the corporate lawyer from Northern Virginia adrift. Starting over in the dating world is never easy.
But as dating-site administrators, professional matchmakers, sociologists and couples themselves acknowledge, older adults are more and more willing to try. As life expectancy hits new highs, members of the plus set are looking for a new or second or even third bashert with whom to share those bonus years, increasingly turning to the internet to make it happen.
There are about 1. According to the Pew Research Center Survey of American Jews, some 43 percent of that demographic is either divorced, separated, widowed or never married. Pew also reported, inthat 12 percent of all adults ages 55 to 64 Jewish women looking for men used an online dating site or mobile dating app—a big leap from the 6 percent reported just two years earlier. She attributes the growth in part to the willingness of older adults to embrace online dating as a way of finding companionship.
Indeed, Stein dated about four or five women from Match. After an initial online connection, the two met at a steakhouse halfway between their offices. The second date took place the next day, and the third that Shabbat, when Sloan invited Stein to tour her synagogue, Adas Israel Congregation in Washington, D. Two weeks later, when Stein was gearing up for a hiking and biking outing in Alaska—the first vacation he had planned since his wife had died—he impulsively asked Sloan to come along.
She said no, worried it was too early in the relationship. Being with someone new requires a lot of flexibility and openness to change. Being open to change helped Bonni Rubin-Sugarman navigate the online dating world after she was widowed in her late 50s. She had been part of a couple for a quarter of a century—a terrific marriage, she says, with two wonderful kids—when her husband, Richard Sugarman, died of cancer at age A former director of special education for the Haddonfield, N.
And there was the endless evening she suffered through at a sports bar watching a football game—definitely not her thing. The retired physician had come to JDate after his marriage of 26 years fell apart. The two navigated their early, tentative dating steps online and then met for coffee in February at a Bahama Breeze restaurant in southern New Jersey.
What was supposed to be a quick date turned into a four-hour dinner. Their brood has since expanded to nine grandchildren. F inding matches for an older demographic is different than for those in their 20s and 30s, says Salkin of SawYouAtSinai, who has 33 marriages to her credit and works with over 1, singles in a range of ages.
Among the other differences that Salkin notes: Seniors are seeking companionship, not someone to have children with; sometimes marriage is not even the end goal. As she seeks to pair SawYouAtSinai clients after reading their online profile and communicating with them via phone Jewish women looking for menshe looks at religious observance, socioeconomic backgrounds and lifestyles: Does he read The New York Times and visit museums?
Is she an outdoorsy type who prefers hiking to reading? Matchmaker Jessica Fass, 35, who runs Fass Pass to Love out of the Los Angeles area, says that working with an older clientele is about managing expectations. She coaches her Jewish clients by phone and and helps create online profiles for established dating sites, which she encourages as a way to expand the search for love.
Gottesman notes a well-known but pertinent fact that can make dating among seniors tricky: As the population ages, women start to out men. Indeed, according to the most recent report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the average American life expectancy is 76 years for a man and 81 for a woman. His site includes several gray-haired couples pictured on its homeand Goldmann notes that in recent years, he has seen close to 3 percent growth in clients in the 50 to 59 age bracket. Linda Diamond would likely agree. Like Rubin-Sugarman, Diamond lost her first husband, Richard, after a long marriage.
Their daughter, Danielle, is married and living in Israel. Diamond was 64 when Richard died and had no desire to live the rest of her life alone. Diamond, now 68, was close to giving up on JDate. He fit all her —and he lived just 40 miles down the freeway.
Light, 71, a computer professional with an adult daughter and son, had been divorced for 10 years after a year marriage. Diamond and Light communicated online for a time, then met at a local Starbucks. The two married on August 23,just over a year after meeting. A selection of sites includes:. For ages 50 and up: OurTime and SilverSingles. General dating sites: Match. Fredda Sacharow is a freelance writer and former managing editor of the Jewish Exponent in Philadelphia. In my opinion, these are the best ways to meet singles of our choice. Good article!
Yes, indeed! The desire and spark is still there, no matter how old we are. We are all worthy of love. Maybe you could connect the people who reply to you! I live in Jerusalem. Am also looking for a soulmate, companion and love who shares my interests. I lost my husband 4 years ago and have a wonderful family most of whom live in the UK. I am 74 but feel 34! I graduated with Ph,D from Sussex university and love to paint, dance, sing and listen to music. High Susan, I would like to know a little about you. You can reach me at, stoltz. I am Have been Israeli folk dancing since little.
Sang and danced with other groups. Play the flute since junior high, have been volunteering for an English-speaking social group in Rehovot since : lsingle52 gmail. I did enjoy your article and believe that what ever the age,that spark of love will always be waiting at the right place. I am looking for a soulmate to share my life with.
I love music, traveling, and going to the cinema. I also enjoy Yoga and creative writing. Fine way of describing, and pleasant piece of writing to get information concerning my presentation subject. Mobile Icons. Jewish women looking for men Subscribe Search. Magazine E-Newsletter. Print. By Fredda Sacharow July Bonni Rubin-Sugarman and Gerald Faich, surrounded by their combined nine grandchildren. Then a year and a half after she was widowed, she met Gerald Faich through JDate. Linda Diamond and Donald Light at their wedding. Comments Nice post! I really like your post. I am 60 Have been Israeli folk dancing since little.
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