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Limbo of desperation and mix messages from the past I do not know what to do now. All I do is write to blank walls.
I want you back and you are long gone. There is intention to be with you again but I know sensibly you did not love me or ever care for us. All it was for you I think is an inificant experience like so many good or bad you had before. It hurts me to think you are with someone else that is feeling the void of what we have been great in time. I was patient. I was looking for the right time. Yes is true, I did not trust you where in mind and body and so I kept a bit of a space and feel it turn into anger with you.
How could we repair the misunderstanding?
Such a brute awakening. You acted so crazy although you were the woman I love. I guess is me wanting to feel the void with someone that look like you however you are not. Now you are no where and know I will never again and I feel so alone without you.
You were so sick in your depression, problems, addictions, fatigue and hypochondria wanting to just pass the time and I felt was not right for me to give in, I felt you were hiding an illness you could not confront besides all other things you mention, although it feels pathetic to wish for you and I do however I did not know you well enough and it hurts for my assumptions got the best of me and now we are no where together for ever.
I hope all is all right with you and you get better and someday soon we talk again, I miss you and feel I am drowning in the suffocating lack of air of no communication for my wisdom or my lack of it then and now, made us avoid the intimacy that could had manifested in something meaningful for the rest of our lives.
I am on your side, no judgments.
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